Be A Billionaire

“Profits Before People”

“How dare you criticize this industry we’re serving!
You dare accuse us of a monstrous crime!
We’re only guilty of commitment that’s unswerving:
To maximizing profits every time!

Profits before people:
It’s the better business plan.
So we deny your coverage when we can.
We must preserve our way of life
from the approaching storm.
Yeah, that’s why we’ve been crushing health reform!

Profits before people:
The Insurers’ bottom line.
And up ’til now it’s served us mighty fine.
‘Cause jacking up your premiums
is how we’re keeping warm.
Yeah that’s why we’ve been crushing health reform!

We gotta stop the Public Option! (Or limit access to it!)
We gotta stop the Public Option! (Let the states opt out!)
We gotta stop the Public Option! (Just put a trigger on it!)
We gotta stop the Public Option!

Yeah, profits before people!
Profits before people!
Profits before people every time!
Oh yeah!”

Lyrics by Felonius Ax

“We have always preferred to wield our influence from back rooms at the Capitol or the back nine at the club. Nonetheless, Billionaires for Wealthcare must make public appearances — as Billionaires — if we want to maintain the right to profit from illness.”

One Liners:
” * What health care problem? I feel just fine.
* Let them eat Advil.
* Whatever happened to an apple a day?
* Band-Aids are affordable.
* Nothing Says “Freedom” Like Denying Claims
* Don’t Tread My Freedom to Deny Your Claim
* Don’t Blame Me for Your Pre-Existing Condition
* Skyrocketing Premiums: What’s Not to Like?
* Your fight is not with us, it’s for us. (to the teabaggers)
* Ask not what your healthcare corporation can do for you…but what you can do for your healthcare corporation
* For the past 8 years, health care costs have been moving in the right direction…Up!
* Nobody’s forcing you to get sick, you know.
* Support Our Troops: Stop Giving Them Socialized Medicine! (thru the VA)
* Fight Socialism! Take Away VA Benefits from our Troops Now!
* Fight Socialism! End Medicare Now!
* Who needs infrastructure?
* Your premiums may have doubled, but our salaries have tripled!
* The system works great — for the insurance industry!
* Keeping our profits healthy will require some sacrifice. Not on our part, of course.
* You deserve the healthcare you can afford
* Private Insurance works just fine
* Walk it off.
* Wealth before health. (used a la “age before beauty”)
* We’re just like you — minus a few billion dollars and a butler or two. (to teabaggers)”

Billionaires In Action!

Here we see the Billionaires helping out the Tea Party featuring one of my favorites Ka Ching.

The Billionaires in a stretch limo:

“Not a “how-to” book, so much as a “how we do it” primer, the Billionaires for Bush guide reveals the nuts and bolts of the art of Wealth and the Wealthy Attitude. Sections on Purchasing a President, Creative Accounting, and The Seven Habits of Avaricious CEOs lay out the power plays of the wealthiest one percent, while supplements on Elite Style, Landing a Trophy Wife, and What to Steal from the Lincoln Bedroom bring light to the softer side of our plutocratic class. Printed on the finest human skin available, this is a book to treasure.

Warning: These are methods and practices undertaken by the truly wealthy. Please do not try this at home, at the mall, or at the trailer park.”

“As a billionaire, you must make a good name for yourself (or at least borrow one from your parents). Here are some famous Billionaire names from around the country:

* Bill M. Moore
* Billie O’Nair
* Frida Market
* Lou Pole
* Phil T. Rich
* Z. Roe Compassion
* Dee Regulation

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